


Right?

by alyssa9779



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alright It's a Pretty Sad Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, Insecure Tony Stark, Internal Monologue, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa9779/pseuds/alyssa9779
Summary: When Steve and Bucky ask Tony to join their relationship, he feels like the world has gone upside down. He loves them. They aren't supposed to love him back. Tony is a riptide. And it's his duty to protect his supersoldiers.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 24
Kudos: 146





	Right?

It takes all of his strength not to punch his reflection in the mirror, but Tony didn’t want to have to walk back into that room with Bucky and Steve and explain why his knuckles are bleeding and mangled with glass. So he doesn’t. He takes a deep breath and turns off the light in an attempt to calm himself down. 

Breathing exercises. Those are a thing, right? Come on man, just fucking breathe. 

Tony is too caught up in his own head to notice the supersoldiers now pacing back and forth in front of the bathroom he escaped to when things got a little too real. 

“Tony, Doll, come on out, let us help you,” 

Bucky’s voice goes in one ear and out the other, he is aware of its presence but unable to process the words said. 

“We just want to make sure you’re okay, nothing else,” Steve follows, voice gentle. Too damn gentle, too genuine. It makes it even harder for Tony to stay put. But he knows he has to. He knows nothing good will come of this.

They don’t know him.

They think they do, but Steve had it right in the beginning. 

He’s the Merchant of Death.

Next to these two beacons of hope. 

It could never work. They have to know that, right?

“We didn’t mean to cross any boundaries, we’re sorry if we made you uncomfortable,”

He doesn’t even know who said it, but just like that Tony knows he has to go out there and clear the air. He can’t have them thinking this is their fault. No. It’s his. Tony is the monster here. And it would be even more monstrous of him to sit there and let those two stew in their well-meaning concern. 

He slowly makes his way back up, standing, before flipping the light switch back on, met with his ragged reflection once more. He sighs, running a hand through his hair in a lazy attempt to look like he didn’t just have a panic attack after being propositioned by the two men he wants most in this life. And of course, this is his life. Chaos, in a word. 

As much as he wants nothing more than to open the door, fall into their arms, and live happily ever after, he knows that can’t be. He has a duty. His duty is to protect his friends, especially Steve and Bucky, from getting caught in his riptide. It’s his duty to keep them safe on the shore, what happens to him be damned. 

He had already been walking a thin line by giving in to their constant requests for his presence, and as much as he wants to say no and lock himself away, saying no to those perfect damn specimens will always be something Tony is practically incapable of.

But now he has to.

To protect them.

To save them.

Because he loves them, he has to leave them.

And they’ll get it. They’ll understand.

It’s no secret that Tony Stark is a riptide. 

He will never forgive himself for those caught in his path. 

And he refuses to let their names be added to the list. 

He gathers himself one last time before hesitantly reaching out to grab the doorknob. The second he touches it, Steve and Bucky are alerted of his presence, so he knows there’s no going back now. 

He opens the door and damn, there they are in all of their glory. Steve practically runs up to Tony, but Bucky’s hand placed gingerly on his arm halts his movement. 

“Don’t crowd the man, now, punk,” Bucky mutters softly and Tony can’t help his small grin at the pet name. They’re perfect for each other, which is exactly why he has to do this. 

“You guys didn’t cross a line, you’re alright, I promise,” Tony decides to start with, an early attempt to assuage any guilt they’re likely feeling at his initial diversion of this conversation. 

“Then why did you run?” Steve asks puppy-dog eyes in full display. Tony is constantly amazed at how such a giant man can appear so small sometimes, so vulnerable. 

“Because as much as I want this, and I do very much want this, mind you,” Tony says, he knows he’s rambling but he can’t stop himself, “There’s no way that I can, in good faith, jump on the bandwagon and throw off what the two of you have,”

“When has good faith ever stopped you,” Bucky mumbles under his breath. Tony practically snorts at that. He has a point, but this isn’t any other mission. This is their lives. And he can’t risk their happiness for anything, even the one thing that he knows would make him truly content. 

“Hey now,” Tony shoots back and Bucky raises his hands in faux surrender. 

“And whoever said anything about you ‘throwing us off,’” Steve says, confusion scrawled throughout his features. Tony’s heart melts at his innocence. 

“You guys have got a good rhythm going. Hell, you’ve known each other since the beginning. There’s nothing I could offer you besides meddling with something that isn’t broken,”

“But isn’t that what you do, Tones? You take things that already work and make them ten times better?”

“Not this. I can’t,” Tony stops himself. Why does verbalizing what’s going on in his head have to be so damn hard? “I can’t risk it. I create because I destroy. I can’t,” Tony sighs, hell, what else is there to lose? Might as well be honest. “I can’t risk destroying what you two have. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, and I barely can now as it is. So please, just leave it,” Tony says, eyes pleading. 

He finally looks up to meet their gazes, and his heart breaks even more at the sight. Steve looks broken, pain highlighting his beautiful face. Bucky looks stone-cold, like he’s accepted what Tony said, but doesn’t like it at all. To the untrained eye, he looks pissed. But Tony knows him too well to assume that. He’s hurt. Tony hurt them. Tony hurt them both. Even though he was trying to save them the pain in the long run. He hurt them. 

Suddenly it’s all too damn much and Tony can’t take it anymore. Everything has bubbled up too close to the surface and Tony is drowning. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I just. I can’t,” and with that, Tony leaves them in each other’s arms, practically in shock after what unfolded. He wishes he could do more, he wishes he could take them in his arms and make them feel better, he would do anything to take their pain for himself. But for now? Tony has to suck it up and make peace with his decision. After all, it is for the best. Right?

Right?

As soon as Tony is back in his workshop with the floor locked down and drink in hand, it feels like he can finally breathe out. But no amount of breathing seems to get rid of the gargantuan pit in the bottom of his stomach. But he made the right call. He’s protecting his soldiers.

Right?

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've really written for one of my major fandoms, so I really hope you liked this even if it's not the happiest thing in the world. Please let me know if you did, if not, no biggie, just stay safe out there, friends! <3


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